


Reticent

by notebookthief



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: HQ Rarepair Week, M/M, i just thought of this and went.... yes, i need to write it now, it;s my first time writing them !!!, please tell me if i'm not characterizing either of them properly, starting now bc why not???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-15 23:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notebookthief/pseuds/notebookthief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the Haikyuu!! Rarepair Week (even though I'm far too early)<br/>Yamaguchi will always appreciate the quiet love and acceptance Kenma brings to his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **beginnings** /celebration

“So I guess I… like you.”

Yamaguchi is practically vibrating in front of the short setter, nervous and excited all at once. Kenma just looks shy, a light blush tinting his cheeks and slouching in front of him, hands jammed in his pockets. Yamaguchi thinks it’s adorable, and criticizes his own bright-red face that washes out his freckles. 

This is Yamaguchi’s first confession. He feels noticed, recognized, flattered, appreciated - he feels elated and proud and giddy. He can’t keep his fingers still. He doesn’t know what to say or what to do or what to think; all he wants to do is feel. 

Kenma is looking at him, but not in the eyes - Yamaguchi realizes he’s probably nervous too. 

Yamaguchi does the only thing he can think of doing - he bows abruptly and exclaims, “Please take care of me!” 

He rights himself quickly and Kenma is still staring. Yamaguchi wonders if he’s said the wrong thing when Kenma starts giggling a little (but he doesn’t really care, a laughing Kenma is all he cares to see, rare and exciting and new). The older one takes his hand lightly, smooth skin on rough, and smiles lightly up at him. 

Yamaguchi can’t calm his heartbeat. They do not do anything but hold hands that day, and he can feel stares on them, but he doesn’t mind. When people come over to ask about them, Kenma just casually states that they’ve started dating, and that’s that. He appreciates the lack of fuss and drama - Kenma likes him, and that’s enough. 

For once, Yamaguchi feels like enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2:  
>  **Distance** /Language

"Have you fallen asleep yet?"

"Not yet."

Kenma sighs into the phone, curled up on his bed and tapping away at his console absentmindedly. Yamaguchi makes a humming noise on the other end. 

"I liked last weekend. I'm glad I got to come there."

"Me too. I'm sorry Kuroo barged in on us."

"It's okay. I'm just happy I got to see you."

Kenma smiles a little and pauses his game. "Do you want me to come out there next weekend?"

"That would be awesome!"

Kenma gives a tiny chuckle. "Okay."

"I'll buy some snacks and we can watch that..."

Kenma likes hearing Yamaguchi ramble. His voice is a little squeaky, and sometimes it pitches up when he's excited, but Kenma enjoys it - there is nothing hidden in that voice, nothing he has to figure out or deduce. Yamaguchi speaks in literals and pure, soft emotion, easy to listen to. Kenma doesn't have to think when Yamaguchi speaks. 

"...and oh, I should get the air mattress ready too-"

"We can just sleep in the same bed," Kenma interjects casually.

"R-really? You're okay with that?"

"Mhm. It's warm."

Yamaguchi doesn't speak for a moment, and Kenma wonders if he's embarrassed. "Okay," he says after a moment, and Kenma feels a little closer to him despite their distance. 

Kenma wishes he could see his boyfriend more, but for now he's content with phone calls, texts, and weekends. When he tells Yamaguchi this later, he is warmed by his agreement.

Kenma falls asleep to Yamaguchi's steady breaths into the phone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day three: date/ **seasons**

Fall is Kenma's favourite season. It isn't too hot or cold, the leaves start turning red, and he can dress comfortably in his preferred style. 

He finds he likes it more with Yamaguchi there, too.

He fits into the scene beautifully. Yamaguchi was made for reds and oranges, Kenma thinks, brown skin and hair blending with the bark of trees and dead grass. Kenma stares at him a lot, watching Yamaguchi ramble about volleyball, or his friends, or school, a new show he's watching. He likes their slow walks together through the park near Kenma's house, holding Yamaguchi's rough hand and marvelling at him. 

Yamaguchi always eventually catches on and blushes, and Kenma wishes he didn't have to strain to reach up and kiss that blush. "Why do you always stare," he mumbles as Kenma tugs him down and brushes his lips across his cheek. 

"Because I like looking at you. It's nice."

Yamaguchi's blush deepens. "You're pretty, too," he says quietly, affection filling his voice. Kenma squeezes his hand.

Yamaguchi was made for autumn. Kenma marvels at his favourite person in his favourite season, and feels glad to share his time with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: **Childhood** /Unrequited

“The first word he spoke to me was ‘pathetic’.”

Kenma perks up a little at that. His opinion of Tsukishima isn’t very well-rounded - Yamaguchi considers him a dear friend, sometimes rambling about him (as he’s doing now), and Kuroo describes him as sassy, rude, and cute. Neither describes him as particularly hard-working. But this new piece of information is turning in Kenma’s head, morphing his opinion once again.

“...Why?” he asks quietly, not wanting to break his boyfriend’s stillness.

He fails when Yamaguchi blinks at him, coming out of his thoughts a little. “W-well when I was younger I used to get bullied a lot. I was a lot smaller then, and I had pimples and stuff, it was really embarrassing. One time these kids were bullying me and making me carry their packs and he just walked up and… said it. Probably not just to me, but to them too.”

Kenma frowns and shuffles over to Yamaguchi’s side, leaning on it. He means it as a comfort. Yamaguchi doesn’t seem perturbed by his statement. “It’s okay. I’ve been a lot more… protected, I guess, with Tsukki. I feel more at ease?”

Kenma hums. “I can’t imagine having a friend like that.”

His boyfriend rubs his back lightly. “Isn’t that what Kuroo is like?” he inquires.

“No. Kuroo always takes me out of my comfort zone. He wants me to be more confident and outgoing, I think.” He sighs a little. “He just wants me to do better. He always wants to make people happy in the way he thinks they should, even though it doesn’t seem like it.”

Yamaguchi hums. “Tsukki’s a lot more selfish, but he has his moments.” There, that has a tinge of bitterness to it - Kenma can detect the slightest waver in him. Studying him is one of his favourite pastimes.

Kenma curls into him further, snuggling himself into his chest and loosely wrapping his arms around his waist. He’ll have to move again soon, when he gets too hot, but for now he enjoys their shared body heat.

After a few minutes Kenma speaks again. “You’re not pathetic.”

Yamaguchi looks down at him, surprise and thoughtfulness on his face.

“Thank you,” he replies, and kisses him gently.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: **Mistakes** /Texting

_Hot._ That’s all Yamaguchi wants to think when he steps into the shower - that the water is too hot. But memories of the day slip through his water barrier.

He messed up most of his serves at practice. It was an off day, and while they all generally worked, he knew he could do better; they had too much spih or not enough power or went to short, or too far, and eventually he just sat on the bench and tried to breathe. 

He tries to drown out his insecurities under the pulsing water, scrubbing at his skin with too much force (force he should have put in his hands when he hit, should have used to push himself harder), and by the time he is finished his skin is raw and throbbing. He can’t stop thinking. 

He dries his skin too roughly, too violently, and he reaches his bedroom he knows his boyfriend has taken notice of his red skin. 

Kenma’s soft hands soothe the blooming blisters on his own when he reaches him, and then he hands are followed by even softer lips. Yamaguchi doesn’t speak. 

Kenma rises to his knees off the bed and wraps his arms around his waist, making a small humming noise. The bed creaks softly, and Yamaguchi barely hears him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Yamaguchi takes a moment to gather himself and make sure his voice doesn’t break. He despises it. “I messed up my serves today.” 

Kenma is silent for a good while, but Yamaguchi is used to it. He is thoughtful and precise in his words - he doesn’t ramble like his friends. He only speaks when he has something to say. The preciseness is something Yamaguchi loves about him. 

When he thinks he may not speak at all, just cuddle him (as Kenma tends to do), he speaks. 

“Don’t mind. One bad day doesn’t define your abilities - it just means you have room for growth.” 

He finally feels himself slip. He climbs onto the bed beside him and let’s Kenma hold him as he tries muffles his loud crying. Kenma doesn’t speak until he’s finished, just slowly pets him. 

When he’s finally calmed his breathing, Kenma asks, “Do you want to watch me play animal crossing?” 

Yamaguchi nods and they settle themselves so that Kenma is in-between his legs, a common, comforting position. He watches and makes small suggestions. when he feels calm again, tired and drowsy after the stress, he kisses Kenma’s cheek and whispers thank you’s into his skin. Kenma accepts them with a silent, gentle smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter 6: **dreams/travel** (i combined the two)

“I didn’t know you liked this sort of thing.”

Yamaguchi glances up at Kenma, who, after using up all his battery life, is letting his devices charge and has taken to snooping through his room. He’s thumbing an old paperback Yamaguchi had forgotten he had. Kenma flips through the well-worn, yellowed pages gently. 

“I read a lot of adventure novels when I was a kid,” he says, and it feels like his voice is too sharp for the lethargic atmosphere. Kenma is smiling softly down at the book. 

“Did you like this one?” 

“It was my favourite.” 

Kenma continues flipping pages for a minute before moving back to the bed where Yamaguchi lazes, crawling across to settle in between his legs. “Read it to me.” 

He has never liked the sound of his voice when he speaks normally, but he’s always been proud of the way he reads. He adopts character voices and doesn’t stutter or have his voice crack - when his words are on the page in front of him, when he knows what to say, his speech is smooth and pleasant. 

Kenma lets him read for hours. His throat is parched by the end of the book, and his jaw is sore, but the other just sighs happily, dreamily in front of him. 

“You read well.” 

“Thank you. I need some water.” 

He wiggles off of his lap to let him out, and Yamaguchi grabs himself a tall glass of water. When he returns, Kenma is checking his messages on his phone. He puts it away when Yamaguchi has settled himself again. 

“I liked the book.” 

Yamaguchi laughs a little. “I never pegged you as one for adventure. Or novels in general.” 

“I like reading. Mostly mysteries. But that was nice.” 

Yamaguchi hums. The lazy mood settles itself above them again, and he feels heavy and thick and a little drunk. “I like the idea of adventures.” 

“Hm.” 

“I guess probably because my own life isn’t so dramatic. But something about going off with only what you need and being able - being able to accomplish so much. Going off to distant, unknown places and discovering new things. Fighting for everything you have and will have. The excitement. To be so important. I like it, I guess.” 

Kenma stares. This is normal, to have Kenma staring - but when he looks into his eyes, Yamaguchi feels some of the heaviness lift from him. 

He snuggles into him. “That sounds nice, but hard.” 

“Yeah. It kind of reminds me of volleyball.” 

“You should tell Shouyou that.” 

Yamaguchi giggles. “He’d probably like that a lot.” 

Kenma lightly kisses his shoulder. “Read to me again later. You make it seem real.” 

Yamaguchi glances down at him, and Kenma has that mysterious smile he sometimes gets - the one that says he knows the weight of what he’s saying, the one that makes his stomach flip, the one that makes him stare and stare and _stare._

“Take me on an adventure again, Tadashi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yams is so serious this chapter so next one i'll try and make him more dorky :B  
> ty to tumblr user doritobio, also known to me as anna, for giving me this idea!! i was struggling so hard for one and the moment she suggested adventure novels i was sold. s/o to her for her help and contribution!   
> in the news: i have a new writing blog! the url is tiny-koushi and you can read everything you see here on there. advantages: cute theme, nicely organized, easily accessible. nice. follow me there for updates and to support me, and tell anyone else you know who reads this stuff (or who you want to read it :B )  
> thank you for your continuous support!! i appreciate it so much! i'm so glad to know that there are at least some people who ship this, and i hope i get a larger number of hits when the rarepair week actually rolls around (im at least 2 weeks earli lmao :B)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day 7: graduation/ **free prompt**

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

Yamaguchi glances up from his idle braiding, flowers stilling in his hands. “Oh, um, yeah,” he says, laughing nervously. “I learned when I was really little.” 

Kenma looks at the flowers with curiosity. “They’re pretty.” 

Yamaguchi feels his tongue get heavy, as it does when he’s going to stutter. He tries to swallow it down. “Here, I-I, um, can make a crown?” 

Yamaguchi goes back to fiddling with nimble fingers, and Kenma scoots closer to watch his hands, his mostly-eaten lunch forgotten. It take him a while to get all the daisies together, but eventually he has a crown in hand. 

Kenma takes it gently, careful not to crush anything, and places it delicately on Yamaguchi’s head. He evaluates it for a moment, before kissing his nose and mumbling, “You look cute.” 

He blushes all the way to his ears, but Kenma just smiles softly with drooping eyes. Yamaguchi picks a flower from the ground and braids it into his boyfriends long hair, who sighs and closes his eyes, leaning into the touch. He does this several times as Kenma goes back to picking at the remainder of his lunch. 

When he feels satisfied, he lets his hands drop and just looks. 

Kenma is gorgeous with the sun shining down on his face and hair, almost glowing. Yamaguchi feels awestruck staring at him - he looks like a mythical creature sitting before him, and he feels reluctant to touch, or speak, or do anything but stare. 

Kenma breaks that with a light kiss on his mouth. He tastes like sunshine and iced tea. “Thank you,” he murmurs against his mouth. 

He swallows hard, then lets himself relax into Kenma. “You look really pretty like that,” he whispers back. 

He giggles and pulls Yamaguchi down until they are collapsed on the blanket, hands and legs entangled and eyes wandering between each other and the blue sky. 

After a long while of staring, Kenma apparently decides that he prefers kissing him, and goes back to doing that. 

“Tadashi?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you.” 

He sucks in a breath, and after a moment he feels like laughing, like rolling down the hill, like jumping up and shouting, but he only grins into his mouth with glee. 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh it's over !! im sorry that this last chapter is unedited and all that, but i just wanted to get it out of the way. i might go back and edit it, but i might not. who knows.  
> thanks you for your support! if you enjoyed the fic, please leave kudos and/or comments. it's the only way i'll know you liked it!  
> i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!


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